Change We Can Believe In

As you know, the Obama administration and its media allies are heavily into Change. And they've really topped themselves in the wake of the (alleged) hit on Osama bin Laden, serving up a dizzying variety of stories about how it happened that shift more actively the Arabian sands. Here's a sampling of the "facts" that I've heard put forward in the last few days, most from government officials and spokespersons, others from various media outlets and supposed witnesses. It was fun, in a perverse sort of way, putting this list together:

• Osama lived in the house for two years. Five years. Six years.
• The residence was an air-conditioned, fortified mansion. It was a seedy, un-airconditioned blockhouse.
• The house had no Internet service. The house had Internet service.
• Osama was actively directing Al-Qaeda. He was not actively directing Al-Qaeda.
• The mission was to kill him. The mission was to take him alive.
• The Pakistanis helped in the raid. They knew about it but didn't help. They didn't know.
• There was a big firefight. There was a little firefight. There was no firefight.
• Osama resisted. He didn't resist.
• He fired back. He was unarmed.
• His associates in the house fired back. One of them was armed but didn't shoot. None of them were armed.
• Osama's wife called to him by name. She didn't call to him. Somebody else called to him. Nobody called to him.
• He hid behind his wife. He didn't hide behind his wife. She was somebody else's wife. Sister. Daughter. Niece. Servant.
  
• She was killed. Wounded. Unharmed.
• There was no woman near him.
• Osama was shot and then captured. He was captured and then shot.
• He was shot in the forehead. In the temple. In the chest. Some of the above. All of the above.
• He died Sunday afternoon (EST). Sunday evening. Last week.
• The DNA identification took several days. Several hours. Several minutes.
• The President saw the whole thing on live video. He didn't see the whole thing. He didn't see anything.
• We'll release a photo of his corpse. We won't release a photo of his corpse.
• Sen. Brown saw the real photos, which prove that Osama is dead.
• Sen. Brown saw fake photos--but we don't need the real ones to know that Osama is dead.
• Al-Qaeda is still strong. Al-Qaeda is dead.
• The war on terror isn't over. The war on terror is virtually over.

Here's another manifestation of this phenomenon--Rep. Nancy Pelosi, in a press conference on September 7, 2006:

[E]ven if [Osama bin Laden] is caught tomorrow, it is five years too late. He has done more damage the longer he has been out there. But, in fact, the damage that he has done . . . is done. And even to capture him now I don’t think makes us any safer.

Nancy Pelosi May 2, 2011:

The death of Osama bin Laden marks the most significant development in our fight against al-Qaida. . . . I salute President Obama, his national security team, Director Panetta, our men and women in the intelligence community and military, and other nations who supported this effort for their leadership in achieving this major accomplishment. . . . [T]he death of Osama bin Laden is historic. . . .

If you, too are heavily into Change, you've gotta be loving this. Or spinning your head around like Linda Blair.